National Best Friends Day (91st post)

     I know most people have that one friend that they are closer to than all the others. Not to piss any of my friends off,but I don't honestly have a best friend, I have best friends. My dear mother (of which I just pronounced MOTHAAAAHHH in my head), kinda hit it on the head, when she said "you don't build friendships, you build families", the more I think about it, I'd say my Mom ( or MOTHAAAAHHH) is right.

     I have my family most of whom I consider friends, the friends that will never change. You also have my Bakery Fam, the ones that aren't my MOTHAAAAHHH, the friends which I was put with, and am now stuck with for a good loooong time, and still have dinner with, go see movies with, or get them b-day cards, still, and I try and make sure they have something to open Christmas Eve at the Bakery.

     Then you have my friends that I've known since forever, they might as well be family, we may not be that close anymore, but you're still checking in, aren't you?

My friends from my middle/high school days, we are still close, even though we are terribly busy with our own lives, and working like crazy people, we still get together when our paths all allow us to breathe for a brief moment, and a glimpse of simplicity.They are like family to me.

     Then there's my dear Church Fam. My dear brothers and sisters, so to speak. They keep me in tune with my religion, tis the music that brought me in in all honesty, I stayed for the atmosphere, that of yet another fam.

If you don't find yourself, or rather, yoself in one of these categories, don't worry eventually I'll be that sister you never had, nor knew you wanted. It's only a matter of time...


Instagram- @lindsayroach
Twitter- @ LindsMRoach
Facebook Page- Lindsay Roach-Blogger

I'm Going To Do This

     Yes, I, am going to write about relationships, kinda, again...

     So there's this one guy, I shall dub "Octav", now Octav has been coming in the bakery solid for like a year now, at least semi-regularly, sometimes during the week, but I don't work week days anymore, Saturdays are all I care about.

      This guy comes in the Bakery and usually gets out a "Hi, how are you?" before I can fully grasp that I need to respond, I'm really socially awkward, in my opinion, so I just respond "Hi, good, how are you? He then tells me exactly what he wants, I get it for him, money is exchanged in the proper amounts, and then he says "Thank you, have a good day!" without being prompted, to which I reply " Thanks, you too!" To which he says "Thanks" then leaves the store till the  next weekend...

     What bothers me is that I don't even know this guy's actual name! I never ask! Frankly, I'm not sure how to ask, without sounding creepy and drooling out the side of my mouth, and if I do say so myself, he's not bad looking, at all. But that's just it, I don't know, I don't know who all he's buying donuts for, himself, girlfriend, wife, friends, hey who knows, maybe he's buying for his boyfriend?

     All I know is that I legitimately like this guy as a customer, and I want to know more, without screwing up "the balance" of the bakery. And I would watch a bunch of YouTube videos from professional advice givers, but I seriously doubt they have a video on how to ask your favorite customer's name, that you just so happen to find attractive, and doesn't seem to stare at my right hand.

Maybe this guy's just being nice, maybe he's already taken, maybe I'm his favorite counter help at the bakery, but who knows? Not me, that's why I MUST find out, but how, any similar situations? Message me on my FB page, twitter, what have you, I need help!!!

Like This!

     What's the old saying, "a watched pot never boils"? I think that's what Ma always said growing up...Among other things, but enough about that, this blog is about ME!...

     But seriously, you know you're always welcome to like, comment, or share anything I post on here, or my Facebook page-https://www.facebook.com/lindsayslifewithcp/, follow me on twitter- @LindsMRoach, or Instagram- lindsayroach. My rules for actually friending someone are as follows- I have to actually have met you in real life, it's not that difficult...Safety reasons...

     I would say I don't care if you like me or not but who am I kidding, I used to be a Sociology major back in the day, we as people, are social creatures, we want to be liked, I just have the worst timing imaginable when it comes to people actually being awake to read, watch things, which brings me to,linzr89, is a YouTube channel you should check out. In short, read, connect, interact, tell me what you want to read about, and have a great weekend.

Something...

     At first I was going to talk about how I was less than three months away from my high school reunion, which leaves me feeling ancient...10 YEARS...

     Then I was gonna write about how I have no idea who my health insurance provider will be, come January 2018....

     Then I wanted to rant about my fear of clowns ever since the Mariah Carey music videos we had to watch, thanks to my babysitter being OBSESSED at the time with them...

     THAT BRINGS ME TO...My actual topic-cyberbullying, it's been popping up on facebook, not to mention TV shows, that aren't even about anyone committing suicide-like that one show, on that one online streaming channel. I sincerely hope that none of my comments towards the random haters in my life has been misconstrued as cyberbullying but rather as cyber self-defense. I didn't ask to be judged, picked on, or made fun of in real life or cyberlife, yet so many of us are. I would say it's because people are just jealous, but the truth is some people are just assholes who will tell you to kill yourself-yes this happened to me as an adult, as a pre/teen someone made threats and held something approximately the right size to my head one day...see The Middle School Years...But I was told to kill myself as an adult, in a place that worked with teenagers no less, by adults who just didn't care. At the time-I was coming up with suicide plans as it was-I didn't need their "help". Luckily everything worked out fine in my case, I got help, and didn't do anything rash, and figured out that the true way to make them suffer was by living life to the fullest, which I intend to do everyday for the rest of it-till it comes to a natural end.

     Something that also changes your mind- almost having your life taken from you, the blood clots and bleeding back in July 2016, changes your perspective on life, you worry less, love more, and overall are happy you don't have to get poked all the time anymore, once off the blood thinners...

     Basically if you happen to be reading this after having been cyberbullied, feeling suicidal, please don't kill yourself, distance yourself from those people clearly, but please don't do it, don't kill yourself.

Awkward Turtle...

     Hello again all! So, the blog, at the time of writing this is at over 5,566 views. Thanks to all my family,friends, and followers for viewing. Now to another story...

     If you read some of my earliest posts, you'd know about one of my regulars at the bakery, I shall dub "turtle guy" for obvious reasons, the guy nowadays orders turtle lattes. Well, knowing that he has tried to give me a back handed compliment in the past...See http://lindsayslifewithcp.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-reason-i-wrote-this-blog.html I try to avoid, when possible.

     Yesterday though, I has gotten there maybe an hour before turtle guy came in, was seeing what else we could condense around the front of the counter, as one of our newest-really good people I have no nickname for yet, so I shall dub thee the sat. afternoon, "Coffee Queen"-seriously, she's good, had already waited on him, and thankfully making the turtle for him, and given it to him. As he was exiting the building, finally, I might add, he-turtle guy, comes up over my left shoulder, and quietly says, "You know, this turtle is good, but it's still not as good as when you make it, or you're telling someone how to make it*walks off out the building, chuckling as he went*" I, look over behind the counter, frozen, glancing from 17 year-old Wonder to Coffee Queen, all three of us with the same "What Just Happened?" look.

     What I wanted to explain to that freakishly awkward turtle guy was that he was again being slightly insulting to my training methods, as guess who was walking the Coffee Queen through some of her earliest drinks? That's right, me! Frankly I see no reason to hover over anymore, she's got it. Secondly, Coffee Queen is one of my Co-worker-y friends, that statement made me mad, besides being extremely uncomfortable, and there's no point in explaining it to him, as it would've gone right over his head. That and all I could do was say "thanks..." and freeze-cuz it's just not worth it, ya know?

     Instead I waited till he left, and the door shut, rushed around the counter, and told them what he had said, because that's what I do, when I'm freakishly creeped out by some disability enthusiast...

Classy

     I don't know about you, but I love going out to breakfast every once in a while, by myself, I find it positively to be great people watching. Today though, it began to occur to me, how much of what people talk about, is actually kept classy. I usually don't mean to eavesdrop, but today, I was sitting at a booth when three meatheads we shall dub " 1,2, &3" start making a ruckus. (They seriously don't deserve a pseudonym-here's why)  1 starts talking about a circa 2003 show called "The OC " to his friends, and tells them it's like a modern day soap opera (apparently "Days of Our Lives, Young and the Restless" are set in  1912 now-oh wait, that's "Downton Abbey"-meatheads...) and that it's so funny and filled with drama, and then he says to the other two "and I'm just like bang her", repeatedly for about two minutes, until2&3 laugh out of nervousness that he's being overheard *hmm? Gee, IDK*

     Let's talk about what's wrong with that phrase "bang her"...For one it's violent, encourages brutality towards women. I would say objectifies women, but one could argue that he used "her"? I think to myself, how old are you? Can you not say sex? In the off chance that as you also said "getting some", are you old enough that saying "sex" is still a "no-no"? If you don't know that soap operas are for the most part modern day settings, even if created before you were born, what women are actually having sex with you? Are you trying to make yourself appear to be heterosexual(fine whatevs you are) by saying things like "bang her" and "getting some".

     I may be fat and unattractive to you, but can you even spell "unattractive"? As such I didn't, explain that I overheard all their ruckus, and I know calling them 1,2, and 3 is in fact objectifying them, so whatevs, everybody's a hypocrite, but my objectifying was because they are so low in my opinion, they earn no pseudonym-you understand, right?

Classy...

Misunderstanding Please...

So if you've wondered why I've been so cryptic, or not so much...It's because I think there was a HUGE misunderstanding, I hope, in my life. It all started out like this.

Towards the beginning of the month, I get a filtered Facebook message from a stranger we shall dub "Teddy". I ignored it, as it was not someone I knew, nor was it anyone I went to high school with. But like an idiot I got curious and opened the message. In it Teddy put something along the lines of I have CP, I know ____________, maybe we can talk and get to know each other. Thinking it was a really dedicated scammer, I asked ______________, if Teddy was a real person? They replied favorably, so I thought I would reply, not once in either of the late night messaging convos did they use my first name, no, it was beautiful, babe or hun. Teddy did say that ______________ thought we would get along, I replied, I get along with a lot of people with CP through #CPChatNow, are you on twitter, of course not, but I really wanted to reach out to someone with CP, include them in the community I'd found on there...Well needless to say, I eventually asked Teddy, So how do you know _________________? Well turns out, it's a Facebook only friendship, now bear in mind I do have the #CPChatNow Ceeps-as we sometimes refer to ourselves, if you look back in the tweets, that I consider to be cyber friends of mine, but we use each other's names, and didn't ask each other about what the other thinks of serious relationships right off the bat, prefaced with a "Babe", commonly know as a pig to my generation-don't ever expect me to answer any of you if you call me that...

Back to my story, this was not someone I met through #CPChatNow, this was a cyber friend of my dear dear person to me, and while I still love ___________. I did block Teddy, and so far the creeper has not texted me(Yes, I somehow fathomed it was a good idea to give out my cell to a stranger-dumb...) I hope they don't text me, and I now know to ask people "Do you know whatever whatsmynameson, in real life, and make sure you all know I don't have time for a serious relationship-at least not without them being a solid dependable, real-life, very special friend first-so it's gonna be a few years, try, or more after the few...And what ______ PROBABLY meant was get along as friends, but Teddy probably jumped ahead.Especially since _____________ knows I grew up in the able-bodied world,have able-bodied real-life friends, and don't have to date someone with CP, and especially not based on CP alone, that's just offensive, and ____________ would never do that to me.


Lesson learned.