Lately I Just...

    Writing a book is harder than it looks, Dear Readers. Hence why I'm still on maybe 3 to 4 pages in... But in the meantime I do blog/diary when the opportunity presents itself...Yes I journal for the whole world to see...You could say that it all started when I was really little, and at a Pella family Christmas, one of my male cousins, or in actuality second cousins, (I can explain, Dad was raised by his Uncle and Aunt, so I grew up till age 13 thinking they were 1st cousins, Why? Cuz I was a very self-centered little girl) gave me a journal/ Diary (don't ask why you would use one or the other IDK, google it and get back to me) that I would write my school crushes in, which I know for a fact, some have read this blog, or at least liked my posts 👍😀😁😂. Furthermore some may be reading this right now...

     But anyways, Dear Readers, Facebook and social media does have constraints, so I only know so much on that...That one diary turned into far too many diaries, and I'm sorry dear cousin, did nothing for my handwriting, which is still a strong " Unique accordion style", but then it turned into me having my own computer, away from the crazy-strict parental controls, of my right-wing extremist Father, who thought that me being a co-president of Spectrum (the lgbtqA emphasis on the A-for Ally), that I was going to be turned into a lesbian...despite the fact that I'm an ally so that my friends and family that are L, G, or B, or something else, were not attacked for being so (Emphasis on the wrong one, Dad)...

     So I graduated from college once, lived a little, failed & got up again-a little, went back to school and during that experimented with blogging,  where I could write and have my handwriting not factor in, in the least...AS WELL as being a safe experiment than drugs or alcohol as when I started this blog in 2015, I was legal to use all those, and on enough prescribed meds, that I had given up alcohol, and had no interest in drugs.

      My former bosses up until the point though, whether I was leaving, due to them covering for their favorite male employees, far too many times, and it was complete sarcasm-shortly after being diagnosed with anxiety and depression, or had known me since I was 5 years old, and let me call them "Grandma" and genuinely meant it, always told me " You should be a writer"...As such I'm still taking their advice, and plan to celebrate once done...So there...


Yes readers this blog is like my side of any conversation with me, random!

I want to know what "Normal" is...

Readers,

So my therapy appointment went well last Friday, and I feel hopeful that my ruminating thoughts and doubts might be able to return to being kept at bay...As the sad fact is,  that anxiety and depression, can only be treated, never cured, you might be in remission, but the thoughts and doubts will always be lurking in the background.

To help myself out after the power steering went out on my car, I cranked it all the way back to the dealership, blinkers blazing the way. last Saturday, and then was dumbfounded when I had chest pains on Monday as I was going to my fave bookstore, then to my temp job (Which ends Friday-then it's back to bakery!)...

I celebrate the other half of #Lindsaity's birthday Friday with her, and must say I'm quite excited to catch up over the last few weeks since the book sale. I wish her the best of Birthdays coming up seeing as it is quite the milestone...

Basically readers, I'm awaiting my life's return to "normal", if there is such a thing, I'm slowly thinking about what to save for my memoir about my life so far. Yes, I'm still working on that...

Stay tuned...