Friday, January 29, 2016

To Bubba Joe Jack (One of them)

I NEED to remind myself of these things...

I refuse to let you make me feel bad...
I refuse to let you make me think I'm stupid for asking you a question about yourself...
I refuse to let you make me feel awkward...(I do that on my own, and ONLY me)
I refuse to depend on you for a feeling of self worth...
I refuse to let you control what I do...Or don't do...
I refuse to think that highly of you, when you don't even ask how I'm doing,
I refuse to be concerned with the thought of pissing you off, I hope this pisses you off, not that you'll ever read this,
I refuse to feel inferior to you,
I refuse to think I'm not going places-come May, you'll see...
I refuse to let myself feel unimportant-thanks to you,
I refuse to actually care about what you think of me,

I basically will remain the same awesome person I am, random,awkward,personable,loyal, and all around lovable...Besides, right now I'm training a VIP at the bakery, so much to focus on, so little time...

Friday, January 22, 2016

Freebie

     This post was inspired by a reader/good friend's(Who shall remain nameless) post on social media. Thank you, and I miss you! Stop in the bakery soon!

     So Ellie May, who may or may not be the previously mentioned one. Stopped in the bakery about a week ago. It was fun to catch up and all. But it soon all went wrong. See not only does Ellie May not work there anymore, not only does she distract Bubba Joe Jack...still, she asked for free donuts, as it was close to closing time. Everyone agreed the decision fell on me. No pressure or anything. Bubba Joe Jack mentioned that we sell icing to a previous employee. I replied "keyword- sell", to which he promptly just stared at me as if a child would that had just been hurt by unkind words. I said "I could ask Vic". To which I knew she would promptly reply "Oh no, that's fine, I just wondered, no need to bother her".

     Which leads me to the post from a good friend stated, "Friends will ask or discount prices. True friends will pay full price, to support you, your time and your work." How silly was I to think Ellie a true friend, however, the post stated that ordinary friends ask for discounts. Ellie was asking for a flat out freebie. So what does that make her? Just how close is she to Bubba to ask a thing like that of us? It seems to me Ellie and Bubba, just aren't as close as they like to think they are...

     In conclusion, what we can take away from this story is that I was silly to think Ellie&Bubba  true friends, even among themselves, and I so totally miss the good friend that inspired this post! Also there was a fourth person/reader/friend that was witness to this event, but she like the good friend is awesome, and so shall remain nameless as well.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Bad Reputation?

     Sorry for forgetting indents last time! Got in a rush, and oops!

     But I got thinking back to this one time in high school, in the choir room...This one girl we shall call "Derwood", you shall see why in a minute, I started talking to. I was being nice,polite, and friendly, as I knew I had mutual friends with this girl;However, I was shocked at her response to my friendliness. Without taking the time to know me at all, Derwood started to say all these bad things about me. That I was mean, fake, and above all else, that I was a terrible friend, to one of our mutual friends we shall call "Kay". Without saying what made me a terrible friend...

     This got me thinking, had we had any fights? No. Did I ignore any phone calls? I didn't get any. I held normal high school self involved conversations with Kay, where we were both guilty of self involvement. To this day, I still plan get togethers with Kay involved, we'll go see a movie and then out to eat...She, meaning Kay, still invites me to her birthday gatherings, which Derwood is not invited to,hmmm? I've messaged Kay on Facebook, when she posts a concerning status update, found out what's wrong...

     If I'm really that terrible a friend to Kay, where's Derwood then? Oh right, busy with a family, last I checked, ignoring Kay...Who's really the bad friend? Maybe Kay was secretly mad at me for something...I don't know what that could have been, and our friendship has certainly moved past...Whatever it was...Derwood though, can't fix her chip on her shoulder. She wants fake, I know where to find it, I guarantee though, it's not me. I'm 'bout as real as they come, always have been, always will be...

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Let Me Take a Minute

I need a minute to discuss some things that are important to me...

First off, I am a Lutheran, I believe in God. You, may or may not, that's fine.That's not what this post is about. I was baptized ELCA, confirmed as an adult LCMS, and raised to be, generally speaking, a kind person-and know that I am only a human, and we all sin-above all else. I did not grow up going to church. As such, my personal views are not always based with the church's opinion, but rather, based on the upbringing that my Lutheran mother provided me. That's why I refuse to disown my gay,lesbian,and bisexual family,friends, and other acquaintances. I never was raised to hate someone because of who they love, but instead love them, all the same. For what the church may consider a sin, I sin, just in different ways. Sin is sin, from what I've learned, you can't change that, but that's just it, I don't consider love a sin, never have, never will. Yes, I disagree with the church, yet I still identify as Lutheran, that's what I know, and I don't intend to change that. Don't try to.

Also, when it comes to religion, for a family gathering, I am supposed to come up with a "God sighting" in my life this year. Let's see, after my Grandmother's passing in June, I've been given the opportunity to volunteer at my local hospice house, as a way to give back. I've been given the opportunity to write this blog, which has reached many friends& family, not to mention many countries around the world. Receiving comments, that either make me feel like I'm not the only one with CP, Anxiety, or Depression, something that I struggled with. I've also  received comments that my fellow classmates from high school, will use my blog, to teach important lessons to their children, when they get old enough. So I have been blessed this year, knowing that my struggles will be worth a lesson to the next generation.

And about that memoir, I have a title, a cover, and about three pages that I plan to scrap and start over on. The three pages, that is. The title and the cover stay. So my new year's resolution, is  to get cracking on the memoir, hopefully write the whole thing and just worry about getting it published, but we shall see. These things take time, especially when I'm set to graduate in May of this year, have an internship coming up, hospice volunteering, not to mention church choir. So, please don't think I've forgotten, for all you fans of the blog, out there.

Thanks for all the blog love in 2015, and here's to many more years to come.
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