1. What does it matter which way the toilet paper rolls, as long as it's there?
2.Old roommate's guy buddy: "Lindsay, did you go skydiving?
Me: " No, I had to do laundry." *Silence*
Texts to my Mom
" U still workin? Did u run away and join the circus? All the above? Wait 48 hrs before sending out search party?"
"So there I was bent over the tub, washing my hair, when I feel something furry on my lower back skin. I think it must be an escaped tarantula-NO-it's Trampy! Haha"
"Horror movies-those two-called it! I'll just use both of them as human shields, in case anyone asks...haha"
"Was her energy happy or ready to kick booty about it?"
"#Womaniningthephones, teehee"
"Going to eat lunch then pay car insurance,den cleaning/laundry-look at my responsible adulting"
"Also I'm parked in your spot-Don't hit Dorian..."
Friday, March 30, 2018
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Random Number 3
Dear Readers,
In my semi-employed substitute E.A. state, I keep applying to jobs that are more suited to my background-Criminology & Criminal Justice, and Sociology as well as a Paralegal certificate...I think I've actually found one that fits my background, and I'm trying not to have too many other random interviews, because I really think I have a shot. I also seem to want to devastate myself if they don't choose me.
Am I getting my hopes up? Am I praying early and praying often? The answer to these two questions is most likely yes, and yes. Not to sound too depressing, but if someone allegedly held a gun up to your head at 12, you were scared into having a mole removed by a dermatologist at the age of 13 or 14, because they said it COULD be cancerous (It wasn't-but the mere thought), find out you're allergic to fentanyl -the hard way (seizure) when you are in "brain-exploding" pain (blood clots/bleeding on the brain-so kind of) you might be skeptical too.
The point to all that, to prove I'm still alive, and whether or not I get the job, life will go on. It just might suck exponentially if I don't. I know God has a plan, I will trust it. Maybe I'll be shown yet another path to go down, as it seems THAT is the true story of my life...Either that or always coming back to a choir of some sort, the music always draws me near, it's how I connect to places, people, and memories, besides the making a joyful noise to the Lord bit, of course.
Yes, music seems to be how I make friends in strange places, how I either get people to like me, or hate me. It also gives me something to listen to, identify with, and all around find common ground with people about.
No, that will not stop me writing "I'm Just Not Drunk Enough to Deal With This Right Now". No, I don't have a drinking problem, I believe that might be part of my problem as to why I have no explanation to at least 50% of the things that happen to me. I will finish it, and it shall be glorious, and funny, and wonderful, and there shall be fan clubs based on my writings...Yes it will be awesome...
Social Media:
Instagram- @lindsayroach
Twitter-@LindsMRoach
Facebook Page-https://www.facebook.com/lindsayslifewithcp/
In my semi-employed substitute E.A. state, I keep applying to jobs that are more suited to my background-Criminology & Criminal Justice, and Sociology as well as a Paralegal certificate...I think I've actually found one that fits my background, and I'm trying not to have too many other random interviews, because I really think I have a shot. I also seem to want to devastate myself if they don't choose me.
Am I getting my hopes up? Am I praying early and praying often? The answer to these two questions is most likely yes, and yes. Not to sound too depressing, but if someone allegedly held a gun up to your head at 12, you were scared into having a mole removed by a dermatologist at the age of 13 or 14, because they said it COULD be cancerous (It wasn't-but the mere thought), find out you're allergic to fentanyl -the hard way (seizure) when you are in "brain-exploding" pain (blood clots/bleeding on the brain-so kind of) you might be skeptical too.
The point to all that, to prove I'm still alive, and whether or not I get the job, life will go on. It just might suck exponentially if I don't. I know God has a plan, I will trust it. Maybe I'll be shown yet another path to go down, as it seems THAT is the true story of my life...Either that or always coming back to a choir of some sort, the music always draws me near, it's how I connect to places, people, and memories, besides the making a joyful noise to the Lord bit, of course.
Yes, music seems to be how I make friends in strange places, how I either get people to like me, or hate me. It also gives me something to listen to, identify with, and all around find common ground with people about.
No, that will not stop me writing "I'm Just Not Drunk Enough to Deal With This Right Now". No, I don't have a drinking problem, I believe that might be part of my problem as to why I have no explanation to at least 50% of the things that happen to me. I will finish it, and it shall be glorious, and funny, and wonderful, and there shall be fan clubs based on my writings...Yes it will be awesome...
Social Media:
Instagram- @lindsayroach
Twitter-@LindsMRoach
Facebook Page-https://www.facebook.com/lindsayslifewithcp/
Monday, March 12, 2018
Knickente
Dear Readers,
Yesterday, I bought a teal male betta, and named him Knickente, or the German word for teal. So along with Trampus the dog, we now have a wet and scaly roomie in Knickente. I don't know why a fish tank is so calming, but for me they are, or at least they always have been. I mean the dog was a gift to my mother,which I do not recommend pets as gifts, but luckily my mama is some kind of animal expert when it comes to dogs,cats, and fish, something, I hope that in all my years of fish, cats, dogs, hamsters, and frogs, has been passed down to me.
This fish though, is my fishy, and I am responsible for him. Just as I am responsible for Dorian "Silver" Gray, My HHR(a smaller-sized SUV). Tramp is more the roomie that eats your food if left unattended. Yes, that is also right, I gave my car a guy's name, why? Because not all cars can be female, nor do they have to be female, girl power! I was born in the 80's, with majority of my childhood in the 90's the years of the Spice Girls, boy bands, and oh, so many hair ties, after all...
Where was I going with this? Oh yes, introduction to my fishy, right...Well readers, we shall see how this goes, really hoping I can keep another life, however wet and scaly, alive, at least long enough for him to not feel confined to his pet-store, betta transporter, but that he is free! To move about his lil' 1 gallon fish bowl...
That is all for now,
Linds
Social media:
Facebook Page-https://www.facebook.com/lindsayslifewithcp/
Twitter- @LindsMRoach
Instagram- @lindsayroach
Email- See Facebook Page
Yesterday, I bought a teal male betta, and named him Knickente, or the German word for teal. So along with Trampus the dog, we now have a wet and scaly roomie in Knickente. I don't know why a fish tank is so calming, but for me they are, or at least they always have been. I mean the dog was a gift to my mother,which I do not recommend pets as gifts, but luckily my mama is some kind of animal expert when it comes to dogs,cats, and fish, something, I hope that in all my years of fish, cats, dogs, hamsters, and frogs, has been passed down to me.
This fish though, is my fishy, and I am responsible for him. Just as I am responsible for Dorian "Silver" Gray, My HHR(a smaller-sized SUV). Tramp is more the roomie that eats your food if left unattended. Yes, that is also right, I gave my car a guy's name, why? Because not all cars can be female, nor do they have to be female, girl power! I was born in the 80's, with majority of my childhood in the 90's the years of the Spice Girls, boy bands, and oh, so many hair ties, after all...
Where was I going with this? Oh yes, introduction to my fishy, right...Well readers, we shall see how this goes, really hoping I can keep another life, however wet and scaly, alive, at least long enough for him to not feel confined to his pet-store, betta transporter, but that he is free! To move about his lil' 1 gallon fish bowl...
That is all for now,
Linds
Social media:
Facebook Page-https://www.facebook.com/lindsayslifewithcp/
Twitter- @LindsMRoach
Instagram- @lindsayroach
Email- See Facebook Page
Saturday, March 10, 2018
Random Number 2...
Dear Readers,
I write to you a lil' before 5:30am to tell you a true story-like all the others...
One of my high school friends from freshman year, "Ed", did ask me out- I quickly turned him down gently. Why you ask? Because he was gay, and no, I am not a male. Not to mention I was obsessed with a sophomore that got me threatened with expulsion my first day due to sexual harassment, which I didn't do, he was asking a bunch of questions, but oh, young love...Story for another blog...
Anyways, why did he? Because Ed was dating a terrible junior by the name of "Bekah" who was the older sister of a terrible girl in the freshman class by the name of "Jessie". Ed was allegedly getting bothered for sex constantly, if not forcing him to have said sex with Bekah, in other words, rape, possibly, without me knowing what really went on. Anywho, I turned him down, upon him coming out to me, explaining all this to me, and then asking me to be his girlfriend. I told him it sounded like he just needed to break up with her, not because of me, and tell her the truth.
Well kids, that week went by, and the high school football game was at home. Ed was not there, nor my older brother the senior, I was alone with my friends, right? Wrong, Bekah and Jessie showed up, mad at me...Why, you may ask? Ed told her/Bekah, that he broke up with her, because he liked me, and I wouldn't go out with him until he broke up with her. LIES, ALL LIES...Bekah was wanting to kick my ass, so I explained to her that he had lied, I said that he had broken up with her, because of her, and that I was only interested in him as a friend, and what reason did I have to lie to her, as she was CLEARLY bigger than me(not picking up on the dis), and COULD kick my ass. She still thought I was lying to her, started calling me a lesbian (HA! Clueless) so my bestie at the time, spoke up and re-emphasized that point, that there was no reason to fight, she/bekah would win, and she/my bestie, knew, I only liked him as a friend, and oh, by the way, he's gay...She/Bekah walked away crying...
Little did I know, that my bestie outing Ed, was not the best situation, but it saved me getting an ass kicking, besties do what they gots to do...
That is all for now Dear Readers...Another story that's been circulating in my brain...now on the internet. No the outing is not why we, Ed and I, stopped being friends, he was actually the first person to invite me to Facebook, we stayed in touch the summer after high school graduation, but I went on to college, and he had a jealous boyfriend....I don't deal with those...
I write to you a lil' before 5:30am to tell you a true story-like all the others...
One of my high school friends from freshman year, "Ed", did ask me out- I quickly turned him down gently. Why you ask? Because he was gay, and no, I am not a male. Not to mention I was obsessed with a sophomore that got me threatened with expulsion my first day due to sexual harassment, which I didn't do, he was asking a bunch of questions, but oh, young love...Story for another blog...
Anyways, why did he? Because Ed was dating a terrible junior by the name of "Bekah" who was the older sister of a terrible girl in the freshman class by the name of "Jessie". Ed was allegedly getting bothered for sex constantly, if not forcing him to have said sex with Bekah, in other words, rape, possibly, without me knowing what really went on. Anywho, I turned him down, upon him coming out to me, explaining all this to me, and then asking me to be his girlfriend. I told him it sounded like he just needed to break up with her, not because of me, and tell her the truth.
Well kids, that week went by, and the high school football game was at home. Ed was not there, nor my older brother the senior, I was alone with my friends, right? Wrong, Bekah and Jessie showed up, mad at me...Why, you may ask? Ed told her/Bekah, that he broke up with her, because he liked me, and I wouldn't go out with him until he broke up with her. LIES, ALL LIES...Bekah was wanting to kick my ass, so I explained to her that he had lied, I said that he had broken up with her, because of her, and that I was only interested in him as a friend, and what reason did I have to lie to her, as she was CLEARLY bigger than me(not picking up on the dis), and COULD kick my ass. She still thought I was lying to her, started calling me a lesbian (HA! Clueless) so my bestie at the time, spoke up and re-emphasized that point, that there was no reason to fight, she/bekah would win, and she/my bestie, knew, I only liked him as a friend, and oh, by the way, he's gay...She/Bekah walked away crying...
Little did I know, that my bestie outing Ed, was not the best situation, but it saved me getting an ass kicking, besties do what they gots to do...
That is all for now Dear Readers...Another story that's been circulating in my brain...now on the internet. No the outing is not why we, Ed and I, stopped being friends, he was actually the first person to invite me to Facebook, we stayed in touch the summer after high school graduation, but I went on to college, and he had a jealous boyfriend....I don't deal with those...
Friday, March 9, 2018
Bring a Friend
Dear Readers, Family, and Friends,
I get this phrase a lot, there are some that genuinely mean a friend, others that mean a date, that secret boyfriend I seem to be hiding from everyone, even me...Or on occasion-my mother (granted I was blessed with one of "the cool Moms"). Crap, even I say it at my game nights, just so you have someone to talk among yourselves with, that you know, so that your guests feel more comfortable. I know that's what people mean when they say that for game nights.
Then there are weddings, where the phrase being repeated to you is "bring a friend"...where it is explained to you that your friends from high school, college, work, mutual or wherever, MAY or MAY NOT be there to dance the night away with,and they don't want you to be lonely, so with all the good intentions that exist exuding from them, they repeat to you, No, you CAN BRING A FRIEND, meaning bring a damn date-Linds, we all know you're hiding a secret boyfriend, even from yourself...
Let's face it, put yourself in my position, all my friends are either: A. Hosting, B. YOU ALREADY INVITED THE MUTUAL ONES YOU WANT TO SEE, C. Are even more terrified of meeting new people-than I am, yes, I'm the extrovert like that, D. Already have plans, E. Out of the Country(sometimes for extended periods of time), F. Are married (opt. kids to take care of),G. I DON"T HAVE A BOYFRIEND-SECRET, KNOWN, REAL, nor IMAGINARY (all my guy friends are either working, single and like it, not interested in me like that, married with optional kids to take care of, live no where near me or are gay-and married to some guy, or have plans, live no where near me...)
So basically, if you invite me, you get just me, no this is not based on any one person, no I am not pissed, as I stated I even say it, just to make my peeps more comfortable, but the above paragraph are where my mind goes, when my mouth says otherwise, or my fingers type another thing, I thought even those friends and family this is about would find this freaking hilarious-please don't be offended, this is just me being all "self-love" and single with some possible slight bitterness mixed in. Remember to laugh it off as such.
I love you all,
Linds
I get this phrase a lot, there are some that genuinely mean a friend, others that mean a date, that secret boyfriend I seem to be hiding from everyone, even me...Or on occasion-my mother (granted I was blessed with one of "the cool Moms"). Crap, even I say it at my game nights, just so you have someone to talk among yourselves with, that you know, so that your guests feel more comfortable. I know that's what people mean when they say that for game nights.
Then there are weddings, where the phrase being repeated to you is "bring a friend"...where it is explained to you that your friends from high school, college, work, mutual or wherever, MAY or MAY NOT be there to dance the night away with,and they don't want you to be lonely, so with all the good intentions that exist exuding from them, they repeat to you, No, you CAN BRING A FRIEND, meaning bring a damn date-Linds, we all know you're hiding a secret boyfriend, even from yourself...
Let's face it, put yourself in my position, all my friends are either: A. Hosting, B. YOU ALREADY INVITED THE MUTUAL ONES YOU WANT TO SEE, C. Are even more terrified of meeting new people-than I am, yes, I'm the extrovert like that, D. Already have plans, E. Out of the Country(sometimes for extended periods of time), F. Are married (opt. kids to take care of),G. I DON"T HAVE A BOYFRIEND-SECRET, KNOWN, REAL, nor IMAGINARY (all my guy friends are either working, single and like it, not interested in me like that, married with optional kids to take care of, live no where near me or are gay-and married to some guy, or have plans, live no where near me...)
So basically, if you invite me, you get just me, no this is not based on any one person, no I am not pissed, as I stated I even say it, just to make my peeps more comfortable, but the above paragraph are where my mind goes, when my mouth says otherwise, or my fingers type another thing, I thought even those friends and family this is about would find this freaking hilarious-please don't be offended, this is just me being all "self-love" and single with some possible slight bitterness mixed in. Remember to laugh it off as such.
I love you all,
Linds
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Speak Up! (International Women's Day 2018)
This is International Women's Day, 2018. Dear Readers it occurs to me that some of you may not know this. Well, it is. It's a day that is just what it sounds like. A day to celebrate women internationally. For me, I'll be touting my accomplishments to a recruiter of a large company, via a phone interview. I'll also be doing laundry, cleaning, and in general flaunting my domesticity. But the fact that I am not chained to domesticity, is reason to celebrate. Yes, it needs to be celebrated, and protests for those that are still chained to that. Change world wide needs to come to have those women be able to function like normal members of society.
No, I do not consider you a feminist, guys, if you like so many others claim to be said feminist, then ask out every lady you find attractive, regardless of age- I just see you as a predator, that needs to be stopped. Hence the invention of mace, so many years ago, and laws for people like you, small sliver of the male population. For those that are true feminists, go you, I consider myself to be one of you. I will continue to speak up for control over no ones bodies, but that if you want me to be okay, than males need control over their's just a much as women do. If you've read previous posts, you know what I suggest. I'm not going to repeat it, in order for me to be truly okay with their being government control over my body.
Don't get me wrong, in the United States, it is pretty awesome to be a female, a Lutheran female, and a single female, I have numerous rights, can do whatever I WANT to do, that I know of. I can also protest, and advocate for change, as I've done in the past, in my younger days, when I was lighter, and slightly more mobile, I did marches and walks, sit down protests at blood drives (note, I've donated blood before as well).
My point is this, yes life for me is fairly awesome, but there still needs to be change for my fellow women, Speak up!
No, I do not consider you a feminist, guys, if you like so many others claim to be said feminist, then ask out every lady you find attractive, regardless of age- I just see you as a predator, that needs to be stopped. Hence the invention of mace, so many years ago, and laws for people like you, small sliver of the male population. For those that are true feminists, go you, I consider myself to be one of you. I will continue to speak up for control over no ones bodies, but that if you want me to be okay, than males need control over their's just a much as women do. If you've read previous posts, you know what I suggest. I'm not going to repeat it, in order for me to be truly okay with their being government control over my body.
Don't get me wrong, in the United States, it is pretty awesome to be a female, a Lutheran female, and a single female, I have numerous rights, can do whatever I WANT to do, that I know of. I can also protest, and advocate for change, as I've done in the past, in my younger days, when I was lighter, and slightly more mobile, I did marches and walks, sit down protests at blood drives (note, I've donated blood before as well).
My point is this, yes life for me is fairly awesome, but there still needs to be change for my fellow women, Speak up!
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