1. What does it matter which way the toilet paper rolls, as long as it's there?
2.Old roommate's guy buddy: "Lindsay, did you go skydiving?
Me: " No, I had to do laundry." *Silence*
Texts to my Mom
" U still workin? Did u run away and join the circus? All the above? Wait 48 hrs before sending out search party?"
"So there I was bent over the tub, washing my hair, when I feel something furry on my lower back skin. I think it must be an escaped tarantula-NO-it's Trampy! Haha"
"Horror movies-those two-called it! I'll just use both of them as human shields, in case anyone asks...haha"
"Was her energy happy or ready to kick booty about it?"
"#Womaniningthephones, teehee"
"Going to eat lunch then pay car insurance,den cleaning/laundry-look at my responsible adulting"
"Also I'm parked in your spot-Don't hit Dorian..."
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