In my semi-employed substitute E.A. state, I keep applying to jobs that are more suited to my background-Criminology & Criminal Justice, and Sociology as well as a Paralegal certificate...I think I've actually found one that fits my background, and I'm trying not to have too many other random interviews, because I really think I have a shot. I also seem to want to devastate myself if they don't choose me.
Am I getting my hopes up? Am I praying early and praying often? The answer to these two questions is most likely yes, and yes. Not to sound too depressing, but if someone allegedly held a gun up to your head at 12, you were scared into having a mole removed by a dermatologist at the age of 13 or 14, because they said it COULD be cancerous (It wasn't-but the mere thought), find out you're allergic to fentanyl -the hard way (seizure) when you are in "brain-exploding" pain (blood clots/bleeding on the brain-so kind of) you might be skeptical too.
The point to all that, to prove I'm still alive, and whether or not I get the job, life will go on. It just might suck exponentially if I don't. I know God has a plan, I will trust it. Maybe I'll be shown yet another path to go down, as it seems THAT is the true story of my life...Either that or always coming back to a choir of some sort, the music always draws me near, it's how I connect to places, people, and memories, besides the making a joyful noise to the Lord bit, of course.
Yes, music seems to be how I make friends in strange places, how I either get people to like me, or hate me. It also gives me something to listen to, identify with, and all around find common ground with people about.
No, that will not stop me writing "I'm Just Not Drunk Enough to Deal With This Right Now". No, I don't have a drinking problem, I believe that might be part of my problem as to why I have no explanation to at least 50% of the things that happen to me. I will finish it, and it shall be glorious, and funny, and wonderful, and there shall be fan clubs based on my writings...Yes it will be awesome...