Friday, November 20, 2015

What I haven't told you...

Here's everything I haven't told you, or written about my time in the behavioral health unit at Mary Greeley about 2 years ago...

I yelled out in the night, groaning and rolling around...having Nightmares/hallucinating that I was being raped...

I yelled out that I was Buzz Lightyear's wife (Why? Cuz Toy Story was on the TV-Think of it as a bad George Glass moment)... To which I then stated there was a reason why I was there...

I also jokingly stated that I was Kitty Pryde (a character from X-men that walks through walls) I was then guided into the door jam by a staff member-who apologized afterwards, while being escorted out of the room, to see the psychiatrist...

I frequently stated I wanted a lawyer...I got one,  and was court ordered to treatment as I was seen as a threat to myself, and others-since I stated that I wanted my former coworkers dead for what they had done to me (I did get the threat to others part dropped)...I'll now be interning in Jan. at that law firm...

Leading up to my stay at Mary Greeley I was hallucinating that former coworkers from the youth shelter were assaulting me at a local grocery store, then coming on the TV whenever my Mother was not there-telling me to go to the hospital-where they would just do horrible things to me...I hadn't eaten more than three bites of soup, in three days, and barely drank anything-yet still went to the city gym, and frequently went to the police station, or called the police station, as I was hallucinating that they were raping me at night...The month before all this I wanted to take my own life, and was not taking the as needed med that I had...No I did not attempt suicide, I just told my Mom I was planning on it, because I was...I did not do it as attention seeking, but rather as a last resort, or so I thought...

After leaving Mary Greeley I was put on a medication that made me lactate. My mother and I both wanted to believe it was just boob sweat. I also shot from 150 pounds to 165. It took a while for me to tell a doctor what was happening, and for them to take me off the med took only a few days. Once finding the right med, it's nice to know that I've dropped over 15 pounds, and I haven't taken my as needed anxiety med in over a year, as my anxiety level just hasn't been high enough.

I also tell you this not as a joke, but rather, to make you realize just what one person with mental illness went through...If you see me, don't make light of this-It brings back bad memories for me...

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry you went through this, but it was really brave to put this out there. I've got mad respect for you, girl!

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