Friday, August 7, 2015


I can't dance. I know I took dance classes as a small child, but I can't dance. I have practically perfect rhythm while singing, dancing, is another story. It requires coordination, control over your muscles, even in those dance classes, I didn't fully have control over my whole body's movements. Does this mean I missed out on the socially awkward right of passage known as the school dances, no. If you put me in a dark corner with a group of my friends, I'd be doing a barely passable version of dancing the night away, with a few slow dances with a guy who shall remain nameless. No, not my one ex, I was never stupid enough to go out with the guy, just danced with him a couple of times, until he asked me to cheat on the grading of his paper for him. Then we weren't really friends after that, oops, I'm just not a pushover like that...

Back to dancing, it could be the CP that adds to my complete sucking, what with the lack of coordination, however; I feel as if though, even without CP, I would still be leaving something to be desired out on the dance floor. In high school we would hold random dance parties on our lunch break, if given the right opportunity. I participated, but seeing as it was just me and a group of friends, who didn't really care how bad my dancing was, as long as I was doing it with them. Yes, however terrible strangers may think I am, my friends always included me, CP and lack of coordination even without CP (More than likely) factored in.

Why didn't I continue my dance classes? Probably because I couldn't move the way other kids could, I didn't feel normal. Something I always strive to be, and why, when I'm just not normal. Then there were some acquaintances, who have tried to teach me to dance, only to discover why I was dancing in the small group I was with. Then there was that one former concert choir pal that had graduated the year before, during my Junior prom, that saw I wasn't dancing, and was trying to upset his girlfriend, that came up from behind and started grinding on my innocent, unsuspecting body. I froze for a moment, until I realized he thought I hadn't been dancing, and who he was, then I awkwardly danced until he let go, and went back to his then girlfriend who easily could've kicked my ass. The next school day she/ the girlfriend was talking about me as one of the many other girls, I wandered off from our mutual friend and the girlfriend, all the while my then friend was giggling uncontrollably. Or there were those that told me I couldn't dance and to go away, needless to say, my friends that were there never really had much contact with those people to my knowledge, after that. I find comfort in the fact that karma is active in the universe, and it will come back to bite them.

So what have we learned, that Lindsay should not dance unless ridiculously drunk*Note-I never drank before the age of 21*, and since I can't drink, don't expect to see me on the dance floor anytime soon.

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