Sunday, December 6, 2015

Two Things...

     I thought I'd take this opportunity to talk about something I haven't done a lot of. My anxiety/depression. It is by no means cured, and yes, just this last week, I relapsed. It all started Thursday, well, okay so it started like months ago, and in my usual fashion, I bottled it up, and let my worries ruminate within me.

              *Names have been changed. Note I'm not good with naming people, so just deal with it*

     I had one coworker(Ellie May) that could not get along with another(Agnes). The other was oblivious. I was also having trouble with a different coworker(Ethel), to which,yes, they were oblivious too. I had been dumping my troubles on Ellie May, and she on me. As friends often do. All the while I'm trying to do classes, graduate with honors (I'll know when I get grades back for this last semester), and generally trying to take care of my own shit. I handled my problems with Ethel. She got moved to a different shift. I told Ellie May in the hopes that she might handle her issues with Agnes, as like I said. I was pretty darn sure, she was just as oblivious as Ethel. Nothing happened. My worries ruminated, thoughts in my head festering. Thursday, my anxiety could not take it anymore. I texted and called, then did that some more, until eventually I quit my job.

     Yes, I actually quit my job, I was so anxious. No pill, was going to help the situation, I saw no other way out, I was even ready to move out, if need be, just to get away from the bakery. The place I have considered a second home for a long time, and with friends that are like family to me. It took me about a 45 minute drive to Des Moines/DMACC, to realize I still needed money, and to call my Mom/Manager to ask for my job back, luckily, she let me.

     Back to the drama of it all. Ellie May will sadly be leaving, so problem solved there, on the bright side, at least. I shall hopefully be leaving in May for a big girl job anyways, so there's that for ya. I'm not long for the bakery either, as much as I do love it there.

Second thing, the first time I tried to spell ruminate on my own, spell check thought I meant menstruate, fun ending fact for ya!

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