Sunday, April 9, 2017

It's Been A Few Months...

     Sorry all, I suck at keeping this current lately, but with 2 jobs, working out, taking care of myself,living, eating, & most importantly deep sleep during heavy rain storms... Well, I got kinda busy. I'm fine, just extremely busy. But not too busy to write you all.

     The reason I wrote this blog, was because I was angry, I need a voice, my voice, and I've found that, largely to the rare criticism from the person that voted libertarian-so one I can largely ignore, people love my voice as is. With that said, when I was 21, it was a whole other story.

     Let me set the tone of my actual story...
It was a dark, quiet night at the youth shelter I worked at, almost 11pm, but after 10:45pm, as I was always 15 minutes early, if it was only 10, I got phone calls as I was driving in my green Ford Taurus I named "Auggie"(yes, two "g"s, it looked cuter that way), anywho, I arrived like I did every Wed.-Fri. night, with alternating Tues. night. Like any other shift, I had the same three male co-workers, I always had. The one whose comment has any impact on this blog, shall be dubbed "Fred"(not his real name). He was 27 at the time, six years older than I. Fred also thought this was of great merit, forgetting the fact that males have scientifically, and we have been taught in health/science classes, that males mature at a slower rate than females, so I'd give Fred one or two years on me? (Not to offend my male readers). But for some reason, Fred, the particular night I'm thinking of that has me so aggravated, decided to talk down to me, as I was single, and that diptydoo knew it, cuz he asked, and I told him, I was not in a relationship, what I actually had told him was that I was not even looking, so I did not even consider myself single.

     So the three diptydoos, started questioning my sexuality, if I was a lesbian (again no offense), or asexual (no offense), but I explained that I was neither, but rather straight, just not interested/looking for a relationship at that time. After, he explained that he was in a relationship with a 29 year old, had sex,and knew what love was, so I was not truly an adult.

     I looked him directly in Fred's brown eyes, as he was sitting right across the desk from me and explained, that while no, I had not had sex, I was actually mature enough to know many things about relationships and love and was just a 21 year old adult.I told him I was not ready to die and become one half of we. He laughed, as most a diptydoo would. First and foremost that in order to be a part of a couple that is actually in love, there is no I, only we, every thought, decision, impacts you both. You do not just say I can/'t, it's always we can/'t,, that the commitment is to be for forever, that if your not in a good relationship to begin with, neither sex or marriage  matter, I explained that I was not willing to do this yet, I was not willing to let my singular I turn into we, or in other words, I was not willing to die and transform into a we. After repeating my tag line, Fred's eyes seemed to have deviated from his previous notions about me, and were now gazing longingly into my hazel eyes-which if I remember that night were particularly flecked with green, so I was told. #micdrop

     So I quickly told him to not give me that look, then mimicked his gaze, that before I said not to, all three diptydoos were gazing at me, and quickly denied it, as at least 2/3 diptydoos that night had known girlfriends.

     My point is this, age does not always equal maturity or adulthood. It's all in how you act, case in point, I can think of at least one 17 year old that's probably far more mature than I.

     Also congrats to my dear cousin getting married later this month, I am ever so happy for the both of you.

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