Water

     Why does everyone over the age of 21 always talk about alcohol, like all you do is drink it? Nothing else, you can just always be found  at a bar. Realistically, not to be a hypocrite, I even intend to write a book involving an alcohol related theme to it.
     My question, is when do you hear about someone going out for water? Never, maybe water with lemon on the side, like one of my grandmothers used to, if you are in fact, feelin' a little wild 'n' crazy. But really the human body can only take so much alcohol in one sitting, so why does the 21+ crowd fixate on it so damn much! Me, I know I can't anymore, that's why I do it. What's your excuse? It's not liquid courage, or luck even, if anything it dulls your senses and makes you sloppy, and less coordinated, which, I need no help with as is.But yes, you are soooo much more attractive of a person, if repeatedly you try to kill your liver.(Please detect sarcasm.)
     So to all you young gentlemen who may be potential suitors, should you ever get up the sober courage to ask ME out for drinks, you better mean water, besides, it's usually free anyways, and easier to detect pills slipped into it, from the criminology and criminal justice side of things, just being honest...